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Amazingly simple home remedies 1. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button. 2. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough. 3. Clumsy? Avoid...

Things that sound dirty in golf that aren't......... 10. Nuts...my shaft is bent. 9. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. 7. Look at the size of his putter. 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more. 5. Mind if I join your...

Things that sound dirty in golf that aren't......... 10. Nuts...my shaft is bent. 9. After 18 holes I can barely walk. 8. You really whacked the hell out of that sucker. 7. Look at the size of his putter. 6. Keep your head down and spread your legs a bit more. 5. Mind if I join your...

One evening, a very attractive young lady was sitting in a fine restaurant patiently awaiting her date. While waiting, she decided to make sure that she looked perfect for him. So the young lady bends down in her chair in order to get a mirror from her purse. Then just as the waiter walks up...

A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, "Doc, I'm constipated." The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, "Lean over the table." The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the bathroom...

Redneck Pickup Lines 1) Did you fart? cuz you blew me away. 2) Are yer parents retarded? cuz ya sure are special. 3) My Love fer you is like diarrhea ... I can't hold it in. 4) Do you have a library card? cuz I'd like to sign you out. 5) Is there a mirror in yer pants...

Deep Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Way Too Seriously: 1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set. 2. A day without sunshine is like... Night. 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 4. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 5...

Who knew!!!! 1. To remove a bandage painlessly, saturate the bandage with vodka. The solvent dissolves adhesive. 2. To clean the caulking around bathtubs and showers, fill a trigger-spray bottle with vodka, spray the caulking, let set five minutes and wash clean. The alcohol in the...

If you have kids, you will appreciate this one.:D

The Best Birth Control Known to Man.....:eek:

GOODBYE MOM A young man shopping in a supermarket Noticed a little old lady following him around. If he stopped, she stopped. Furthermore she kept staring at him. She finally overtook him at the checkout, And she turned to him and said, "I hope I haven't made you feel ill at ease...

25 SIGNS YOU HAVE GROWN UP 1. Your house plants are alive, and you can't smoke any of them. 2. Having sex in a twin bed is out of the question. 3. You keep more food than beer in the fridge. 4. 6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to bed. 5. You hear...

More truth about Woodie can be found here, but you have to sift through the idiot mail. www.trading-room-feedback.blogspot.com :eek: :eek: :eek:

I like that...."the spitball trade"....rofl....is it ok if I use that one? :p :D

If you really want to learn the CCI and not have all the bullshit that Woodie provides go to www.ccitraders.com and join the free chat with TW and the other old moderators from the club. And it really is FREE. Much much better! :D

The Fly In the dead of summer a fly was resting on a leaf beside a lake. A hot, dry fly who said to no one in particular, "Gosh ... if I go down three inches, I will feel the mist from the water and I will be refreshed." There was a fish in the water thinking, "Gosh ... if that fly...

There were two friends, a white guy and a black guy. One evening, they were in a bar arguing over which of them could have sex the most times in one night. They decided to settle the issue by going to the local brothel for the evening. So they got to the brothel, paired off with a couple of...

Two crocodiles were sitting at the side of the lake near Canberra. The smaller one turned to the bigger one and said, "I can't understand how you can be so much bigger than me. We're the the same age, we were the same size as kids." "Well", said the big croc, "What have you beeen...

DUI A drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, “Where have you been?” “I've been to the pub,” slurs the drunk. “Well,” says the cop, “it looks like you've had quite a few.” “I did all...

Life is all about ass ... think about it. You're either covering it, looking for it, laughing it off, kicking it, kissing it, busting it, or behaving it like one!" :D