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One Woman's Tale of Woe All hair removal methods have tricked women with their promises of easy, painless removal - The epilady, scissors, razors, Nair and now...the wax. My night began as any other normal weeknight. Come home, fix dinner, play with the kids. I then had the thought that...

A guy walks into a bar with an octopus under his arm. He sets the octopus on a stool next to him and announces: "This is an amazing octopus. I'll bet anyone in this bar $50 that this octopus can play any instrument set in front of it." None of the people could believe this, so one guy brought...

Why Arabs prefer Jewish Nursing Homes --------------------------------------------------- An Arab-American family was considering putting their grandfather in a nursing home. All the Muslim facilities were completely full, so they ended up putting him in a Jewish home. After a few weeks in...

A drunk gets up from the bar and heads for the bathroom. A few minutes later, a loud, blood curdling scream is heard from the bathroom. A few minutes after that, another loud scream reverberates through the bar. The bartender goes into the bathroom to investigate why the drunk is...

A guy walks into the local welfare office, marches straight up to the counter and says. "Hi...You know, I just HATE drawing welfare. I'd really rather have a job." The social worker behind the counter says,"Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy...

A guy walks into a bar, sits down and says to the bartender, "Quick pour me twelve drinks." So the bartender pours him twelve shots and the guy starts shooting them back as fast as he could, one after another. The bartender says to the guy, "Boy you are drinking those drinks really fast." The...

An 85 year old man visits his doctor to get a sperm count. The geezer's given a jar and told to bring back a sample. The next day he returns to the doctor with an empty jar. "What happened?" says the doctor. "Well," the old man starts, "I asked my wife for help. She tried with her right...

A guy walks into the psychologist's office wearing only shorts made from Saran wrap. The psychologist looks at him and says, "Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

A Greek and Italian were sitting in a Starbuck's one day discussing who had the superior culture. Over triple lattes the Greek guy says, "Well, we have the Parthenon." Arching his eyebrows, the Italian replies, "We have the Coliseum." The Greek retorts, "We Greeks...

One hot July day we found an old straggly cat at our door. She was a sorry sight. Starving, dirty, smelled terrible, skinny and hair all matted down. We felt sorry for her, put her in a carrier and took her to the vet. We didn't know what to call her, so we just named her "Pussycat." The...

A stingy old lawyer who had been diagnosed with a terminal illness was determined to prove wrong the old saying, "You can't take it with you." After much thought and consideration, the old ambulance chaser finally figured out how to take at least some of his money with him when he died. He...

International symbol of marriage is Approved by the UN New York-AP- On April 21, 2005, After 5 months of heated debate, the Commission of Human Rights of the United Nations approved the new International Symbol of Marriage.

A cop is patrolling Lover's Lane when he sees the strangest thing. A young teenage couple is sitting in a car, the guy in the front and the girl in the back. The guy is reading a magazine and the girl appears to be knitting. He stops the patrol car and walks over to knock on the young man's...

WHAT PART OF YOUR BODY GOES TO HEAVEN FIRST? The nun teaching Sunday School was speaking to her class one morning and she asked the question, "When you die and go to Heaven...which part of your body goes first?" Suzy raised her hand and said, "I think it's your hands." "Why do you...

Jim, The Keys are loaded with daytraders. I loved it and I was very sorry when I had to leave there. Daytrading is the best way to make a living there, any other job there pays shit. You can get DSL and T1. You can take your laptop and trade on the beach on WiFi. God, I miss it!

200th Anniversary of the Battle of Trafalgar ADMIRAL NELSON'S FLEET CONFRONTS THE FRENCH & SPANISH WARSHIPS OFF TRAFALGAR Nelson: "Order the signal, Hardy." Hardy: "Aye, aye sir." Nelson: "Hold on, that's not what I dictated to Flags. What's the meaning of this?" Hardy: "Sorry...

When you have an "I Hate My Job" day, try this. On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a Rectal Thermometer made by Johnson and Johnson. Be very sure you get this brand. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains...

Twenty-eight years ago, Bubba Thibodeaux, a Louisiana man from deep in the bayou, was drafted by the Army. On his first day of boot camp, the Army issued him a toothbrush. That afternoon, an Army dentist yanked several of his teeth. On his second day, the Army issued him a comb. That...

Anyone who has ever had a loved one in the hospital will enjoy this: A woman called a local hospital. "Hello. Could you connect me to the person who gives information about patients. I'd like to find out if a patient is getting better, doing as expected, or getting worse."...

YOUR DRIVERS LICENSE TELLS IT ALL A mother is driving a little girl to her friend's house for a play date. "Mommy," the little girl asks, "how old are you?" "Honey, you are not supposed to ask a lady her age," the mother replied...