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A famous Viking explorer returned home from a voyage and found his name missing from the town’s register. His wife insisted on complaining to the local civic official who apologized profusely saying, "I must have taken Leif off my census." :p

Way down in dat hot and humid old territory known as Louisiana, Bodreaux's old lady had been pregnant for nine months, and now the end-game time had come. So, he brought her to the doctor, and the doctor began to deliver the baby. She had a little boy, and the doctor looked over at Boudreaux and...

A businessman sent this fax to his wife: "To My Dear Wife, You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you with your 60 years can no longer supply. I am very happy with you and value you as a good wife. Therefore after reading this fax, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret...

This apparently was a real memo sent out by a computer company to its employees. It went to all field engineers. The author of this memo was quite genuine. The engineers rolled on the floor! Especially note the last couple of sentences: If a mouse fails to operate or should it perform...

Walking can add minutes to your life. This enables you at 85 years old to spend an additional 5 months in a nursing home at $5000 per month. My grandmother started walking five miles a day when she was 60. Now she's 97 years old and we don't know where the hell she is. The only reason I...

Computers are like air conditioners. They work fine until you start opening windows... :p

After much arguing and deliberation, historians this week have come up with a phrase to describe the Clinton Era. It will be called: SEX BETWEEN THE BUSHES. The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta announced that Clinton has proven that you can get sex from Aides. Gennifer Flowers was...

Two aliens landed in the New Mexico desert near a gas station that had been closed for the night. They approached one of the gas pumps, and the younger of the two aliens addressed it. "Greetings, Earthling. We come in peace. Take us to your leader." The gas pump of course didn't respond...

Friends don't let friends take home ugly men Women's restroom Starboard, Dewey Beach, DE Beauty is only a light switch away. Perkins Library, Duke University, Durham, NC If life is a waste of time, and time is a waste of life, then let's all get wasted together and have the time of...

Little Johnny watched the science teacher start the experiment with the worms. Four worms were placed into four separate jars. The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol. The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke. The third worm was put into a jar of sperm. The fourth worm...

Jane was helping her husband, Bob, set up his computer, and at the appropriate point in the process, told him that he would now need to enter a password ... something he will use to log on. Bob was in a rather amorous mood and figured he would try for the shock effect to bring this to his...

Q: Now, why is it that the French eat just one egg for breakfast? A: Because, in French, one egg is "un oef"! :p

Parachute for sale, used only once, never opened, got a little stained, $500 or BO! :p

"If you are going to try cross-country skiing, start with a small country." :p :p :p :p

Reporters interviewing a 104 year old woman: "And what do you think is the best thing about being your age?" "No peer pressure!" * * * * Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, "How old was your husband?" "102," she...

Two young boys walked into a pharmacy one day, picked out a box of Tampax and proceeded to the checkout counter. The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?" "Eight", the boy replied. The man continued, "Do you know how these are used?" The boy replied, "Not...

“Last week I took the first step towards getting divorced.” “Wow! What did you do? Do you go see a lawyer?” “No, not yet... I got married.” :p

Upon hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to visit her 95-year-old grandmother and comfort her. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, "He had a heart attack while we were making love on Sunday...

With all the new technology regarding fertility, a 65-year-old woman was able to give birth to a baby recently. When she was discharged from the hospital and went home, her relatives came to visit. "May we see the new baby?" one asked. "Not yet," said the mother. "I'll make coffee and...

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the woman at the teller window "I want to open a damn checking account." The astonished woman replies, "I beg your pardon, sir. I must have misunderstood you. What did you say?" "Listen up, damnit. I said I want to open a damn checking account...