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Bob, a 70 year old extremely wealthy widower, shows up at the Country Club with a breathtakingly beautiful and very sexy 25 year-old blonde who knocks everyone's socks off with her youthful sex appeal and charm and who hangs over Bob's arm and listens intently to his every word. His buddies...

She was Soooooooo Blonde . . * She thought a quarterback was a refund. * She thought General Motors was in the army. * She thought Meow Mix was a CD for cats. * She thought Boyz II Men was a day care center. * At the bottom of an application where it says "Sign here:" she...

Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage and values. Stu said, "I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?" Leroy replied, "I'm not sure, What was her maiden name?" A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence...

That's a tough one. Who can guess? :p

A circus owner runs an ad for a lion tamer and two people show up. One is a good looking man in his mid-forties and the other is a drop-dead gorgeous blonde in her mid-twenties. The circus owner tells them, "I'm not going to sugar coat it. This is one ferocious male lion. He ate my last tamer...

A man consults a psychiatrist and states in utter desperation, “Doc, I'm really scared, depressed and suicidal. What should I do?” To which the doctor calmly replies, in a slow and wise voice: “Pay in advance.” :p

Father Pat was an avid golfer, one of those people who literally live for the sport. That Sunday morning, the sun was shining bright, the sky was clear as a gorgeous dome of blue glass, and the birds were chirping happily to spread the good news that this was a very special day. Yielding to the...

Never say anything bad about a man until you have walked five miles in his shoes. By then he’s a good distance away, and you've got his shoes. :p

HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY All you have to do is be: 1. a friend 2. a companion 3. a lover 4. a brother 5. a father figure 6. a teacher 7. an educator 8. a cook 9. a gardener 10. a carpenter 11. a driver 12. an engineer 13. a...

SPM, Can you give us a more complete reference? A website perhaps?

A man took his wife to the Rodeo and one of the exhibits was that of breeding bulls. They went up to the first pen and there was a sign that said, "This bull mated 50 times last year." The wife poked her husband in the ribs and said, "He mated 50 times last year." They walked a little...

Just before our first long deployment, two Navy buddies and I were talking about the stress of leaving our families. A senior officer, a veteran of many deployments, overheard our conversation and offered the following advice: "You must be sensitive to your wives' emotional needs," he said...

Number 5 A man bumps into a Woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says "Ma'am,if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "Sir, if some other part of yours is as hard...

Well, two things are for sure: 1. It's not me! 2. Now that you posted THAT, you are in big trouble :)

I bet you if Baron launched a new "Elite Trader's Spouse" forum, he'd make even more money than he makes with this one. Just imagine all the moaning and groaning and "constructive criticisms" and "...I understand BUT..." variations that that forum would manifest :p

I did too, but my wife took it down and put her picture (the one with "the frown") in its place :p

neutrino, Great post, bravo! I agree 200% :)

Little Johnny was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, make you fat." Little Johnny replied, "My...

electron, Not to start this again, but we all know that Bush's win was scrutinized from here to Sunday by the Dems and was established as fair by the highest court of the land. Even Gore accepted that fact. Those who lost resent his victory and some are still whining about it... but who...

As expected, this group of traders is somewhat more Republican than Democrat. Same here, although I call myself an Independent, usually tilt more towards the R than the D side. I really think that George has been doing an excellent job as a President: he took a lot of risks and pushed hard to...