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Fun With Love and Marriage  Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.  A husband said to his wife, "No, I don't hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine."  The honeymoon is over when the...

Here's another, for you know, when you wanna tell someone to go eat shit. http://www.engrish.com/image/engrish/crap-fork.jpg :D

A chicken farmer went to a local bar, sat next to a woman, and ordered a glass of champagne. The woman perks up and says, "How about that? I just ordered a glass of champagne, too!" "What a coincidence," he said, "This is a special day for me. I'm celebrating." "This is a...

A man came home from work, sat down in his favorite chair, turned on the TV, and said to his wife, "Quick, bring me a beer before it starts." She looked a little puzzled, but brought him a beer. When he finished it, he said, "Quick, bring me another beer. It's gonna start." This time...

Joe's will provided $ 30,000 for an elaborate funeral. As the last guests departed the affair, his wife, Helen, turned to her oldest friend. "Well, I'm sure Joe would be pleased," she said. "I'm sure you're right," replied Jody, who lowered her voice and leaned in close. "How much...

Was watching Springer today (what can I say - I've got time on my hands), and this hillbilly said her drunkard husband wouldn't take a DNA test. Springer says "what?" She says, "you know, a drug n alcohol test."

Q) Why do women have smaller feet than men? A) So they can stand closer to the sink. Q) How do you fix a woman's watch? A) You don't... there's a clock on the oven. Q) Why do men pass gas more than women? A) Because women don't shut up long enough to build up pressure. Q) If your dog...

On their wedding night the husband was so self-conscious about the smallness of his penis that before undressing, he snapped off the light. Once he was in bed, he unzipped his pants and handed his member to his bride. "That's thoughtful, darling," she cooed, "but we'll need the light...

Most people don't know that back in 1912, Hellmann's mayonnaise was manufactured in England In fact, the Titanic was carrying 12,000 jars of the condiment scheduled for delivery in Vera Cruz, Mexico, which was to be the next port of call for the great ship after its stop in New York...

Looks more like Leet Speak TE (Trader's Edition) :D

OK now it's working but NQ is showing -24.xx change.

I can log in now but no data.

How?

Can't log in here in AZ

ROFLOL Some good ones in there!

A case of "Other than that, Mrs. Kennedy, how was the parade?"

Same here - pink borders, quotes updating but no order entry possible. :mad:

Before & After http://www.keithwhite.us/marriage.html

"GMC 2WD, flexfuel (uses E85) 15/20, 11/15 on E85" That's nice! 4-5 less MPG on ethanol. That's gonna be as popular as the first V8-6-4 was, IOW 2 model years at best before it's scrapped. I wonder how popular these hybrids will be a few years down the line when the battery packs start...

Not if you're long the oil stocks . . . :p