Search results

How To Shower Like a Woman: Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks. Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas. Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental...

I can just picture a process server standing at her tombstone with 2 fingers in his ass wondering what to do next. Probably would leave a delivery attempt notice on the stone.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one. Michael J. Fox has a small one. Madonna doesn't have one. The Pope has one but doesn't use it. Clinton uses his all the time. Bush is one. Matt Davis has one but is afraid to use it. Mickey Mouse has an unusual one. Liberace never used his on women...

Nothing worse than a Wednesday meeting. 2 1/2 days of sheer boredom instead of 1 1/2.

A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. Ashley said, "My father's a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying hens. One time...

Any way to split it in half and lock it so we can browse it?

Kiwi - Gotcha. Nice idea, to have a freshly-installed, updated and customized SP2 image ready to go. That alone saves 2+ hours.

Wouldn't that just reinstall his old problems? :confused: Acronis TrueImage et al will restore the hard drive sector by sector - the good as well as the bad. If your system is really hosed, just reformat NTFS, reinstall XP then your apps. Only bring back data files as needed, not programs and...

If that guy on the other end of the phone really knew anything about trading, his next question after "How long have you been trading?" . . . "(Response) Many years". . . would be "And are you profitable yet" :D

How the hell was anyone able to qualify for a house and a car loan when the vig was 20 points. :confused:

I've got one for you. Since Friday my intraday charts have been stopping at 2pm ET - the last candlestick keeps updating but the x-axis ceases to advance past 2pm. I just installed the latest beta and still no joy. :confused:

How about Washington DC pull out of the US. We'd be far better off without them.

Quotes are coming in bunches and occasionally I'll get pink borders for a few seconds but the quotes still update.

And remember too, that all trading gains be they long or short term aren't subject to self-employment (FICA) taxes so there's another 15% of your income you don't lose. Again, assuming you have gains to speak of :D

Unreal. ES moving in 5-point blocks

Oh man, THAT's funny! :D

Little Bruce and Jenny are only 10 years old, but they just know that they are in love. One day they decide that they want to get married, so Bruce goes to Jenny's father to ask him for her hand. Bruce bravely walks up to him and says "Mr. Smith, me and Jenny are in love and I want to ask you...

Replace "the member" in her hands with a pair of tweezers and you'll be OK

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye....It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES He thinks this is a figment of his imagination and drives on without second thought....Soon he sees another sign...

I see my ex mother-in-law finally used that free Sears family portrait coupon I gave her a few Christmasses ago. :D