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If you think stupid children's names like 'Moon Unit' and 'Blanket' are a modern phenomenon for celebrities... think again: I just read about some guy called Sigmund Freud: He was the father of 'Modern Psychoanalysis'!

I saw a homeless guy sitting in the street with a hammer and a saw. He had a sign saying, 'Woodwork For Food'.

It pains me to say that my mother passed away in the early hours of this morning after a lenghty battle with my father's pillow. :eek:

A blond woman goes to the hospital. "What seems to be the problem?" asked the Doctor. "Something is terribly wrong, I keep finding postage stamps from Costa Rica in my vagina." The Doctor had a look, chuckled and said "Those aren't postage stamps my dear, they're the stickers off the bananas"

Clinton must have forgotten his osama bin laden foreign policy

My black neighbour is really upset because she's just found out she's having twins. She should consider it a blessing because it's such a rare occurrence. I mean how often does a black woman have 2 children by the same father?

Politicians warn an attack on Syria could open Pandora's box. As soon as the bombing starts i'm inviting my neighbor Pandora for a 'coffee'.

I worry about what else my memory foam mattress can remember.

Every where else but America, she's known as Kilometery Cyrus. :D ahahahaha ha ha ha :D

What do you call a piece of land where Russia & America intend to test out their latest military weapons on each other? Syria.

A bar walks into a man. The bartender says, "That's it! Abar, watch where you are going you dopey muslim cunt."

'Duck Dynasty' succeeds by offering wholesome, family-friendly entertainment In the Season 4 premiere of “Duck Dynasty,” Robertson family patriarch Phil and his wife of 48 years, Miss Kay, have a wedding ceremony in their back yard, officiated by their oldest son. They were just teens...

:D :D

Nutmeg gets revenge on the section 8 tenant..:D lmao... 2 family. Downstairs - young pretty single mom 2 kids. I was in the apt once, clothes piled on tables couches every surface had stuff, toys, papers, etc. One time she called and said her kid plugged the toilet when he flushed a...

My girlfriend told me I had a small penis. Well, she didn't say it, but she got "INSERT JOKE HERE" tattooed on her pussy.

My girlfriend told me I had a small penis. Well, she didn't say it, but she got "INSERT JOKE HERE" tattooed on her pussy.

The 6 different sizes of penis 1.......Travis 2.......Medium 3.......Large 4.......Oh my god 5.......Holy fuck 6.......Does that come in white

Travis takes his girlfriend to bed for the first time. Embarrassed by his the size of his knob, he insists on turning the light out. In the darkness, he puts his erection into her hand and is understandably hurt when she says, ''No thanks, I don't smoke.''

Travis walks into a stable. The horse says, "Why the small penis?"

Busted. lmao. I'm trying to learn how to text....:D her. I could tell ya'll more but I'd bore myself reading it.