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i almost got raped in jail last night. MY family takes monopoly way too serious...

She has no one to blame butter self. :D ...Aah hahaha ha hah ha ahhhaaaa..:D

Kim Kardashian's vagina will be called the Northwest Passage.

Not because of the language barrier, but because the Frogs and Krauts are obnoxious racists...:cool: :eek: :D

Political Correctness Gone Insane The gov of Texas just passed a law: making it legal to say "Merry Christmas" in school and public buildings.

but I beg you … for your forgiveness," This shit cracks me up. Squirming like a dog,..People beggin forgiveness in public, on the air, and you know what...? No one forgives them..Everyone is just plain glad it didn't happen to them.. Oth, she did say the best jokes were about jews...

i can't recall a peep from the gay and lesbian community regarding Weiners dysfunction.This is good. i'm excited. A main stream sexter face off against a lesbian for mayor. One day hopefully their won't be a straight person in the race. I'll be supporting the 'one armed albino lesbian octopus'...

Any of you guys remember bea arthur "maude" from the tv show. Sheesh I remember my uncle going on and on about her breasts. Always asking everyone to "guess their weight"..:D I notice there's a nude art of her breasts expected to sell for big money...I wish my uncle was still around to see...

Speaking of Doctors... When my wife gave birth I slipped a fifty dollar bill in the obstetrician's top pocket and asked him to put a few extra stitches in her pussy to make it nice and tight again. He flatly refused though, said it would be unethical after a cesarean.

The only problem I have is when they ask you "Do you know why I stopped you?" I never know what to say. "You saw me and I didn't see you?"

Why do boobs make milk but vaginas don't makes cookies?

I think naked shorts (in this case) have to do with the fact naked shorts are created in the normal course of business in trading options. The naked shorts created are not to be "sold' but dissolved when the option expire.

I was playing the best round of golf of my life at St Andrews, when I sliced my shot. It went straight through a stained glass window, and we had to run like fuck when the minister came out.

Hey..this is funny.....:D While Jim Apple was having trouble introducing himself in France, at a hotel in Berlin, his friend Gordon Morgan was having similar problems when he arrived for breakfast.

I thought you were tough on smoking, what's up with smoking dope. smoke is smoke.

The poll indicates that for the first time in Obama’s presidency, half of the public says they don't believe he is honest and trustworthy. What does this matter? Most of us in our lifetime have to do business with a snake. I don't want love from Obama, I want free stuff..and lots of it.:cool:

My girlfriend got "property of Nutmeg" tattooed on her back. Which makes me the 4th largest property owner in New York .

Last night was crazy . I drank 16 beers and peed on a cop car. The joys of being a police officer.

Reading behind the obituary lines... Died Suddenly = heart attack Died peacefully in her sleep = on morphine Cremation = we are too tight to buy a headstone Died surrounded by family = contents of the Will unclear No flowers please, donations to the dogs home = the tight bitch has left...

My demented grandma found a dead bee in her dinner. Its then I had to remind her none of the alphabet soup was alive.