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War-Vietnam

Why are you Crying........................... When I went to lunch today, I noticed an old lady sitting on a park bench sobbing her eyes out. I stopped and asked her what was wrong. She said, "I have a 22 year old husband at home. He makes love to me every morning and then gets up and makes me...

A loser hiding by the name of SunTrader has me on block. Give him my :thumbsdown:

Never fall in love with a stock. The odds are better with a gold digger.

It is an example of a reverse split. The first number represents the number of shares currently held. The second number shows the number of new shares.

Are you implying that allowed of posters on ET own cats?

3% doesn't sound correct. Stocks fluctuate much more than 3% in time frames of a few seconds.

Did you wake up with an epiphany or in slang a wet dream?

Abubakar, a Nigerian businessman, goes to see his old university buddy Lao Wang, now living in Beijing. He arrives at Lao Wang’s apartment and notices a brand new Audi A6 parked outside, an Hermes belt gracing his belly and a brand new Rolex on his wrist. “My friend,” says Abubakar, “You have...

Eliminate the word forever from your vocabulary.

Draw no conclusions without reading the fine print to pre-existing conditions co-payments, limitations on choice of doctors, hospital stays and rehabilitation costs.

I am pro-abortion

8 lies.

One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut. After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied, 'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.' The florist was pleased and left the shop. When the barber went to open his shop the next morning, there...

The local news station was interviewing an 80-year-old lady because she had just gotten married for the fourth time. The interviewer asked her questions about her life, about what it felt like to be marrying again at 80, and then about her new husband's occupation. "He's a funeral director," she...

An old man was driving his Lambo with 100 miles/hour when suddenly he saw the police chasing him. So, he starts speeding up, 140, then 150, then 180. Suddenly he slows down and thinks: "I'm too old for this." He pulls over and waits for the police to catch up. The officer gets out of the car...

Why the high price?

Fiat money is useful for bathroom wall paper. It becomes more valuable as countries are printing and spending money like drunken sailors.