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After screwing a fat chick when I was drunk, the next morning I said to her, "Here, if you want to see me again call this number." "Awww, men don't usually give me their numbers," she responded. I said, "It's not mine. It's Weight Watchers."

Here it is almost Sunday. Couple Sees Jesus In Walmart Receipt :D I was going to post a link, ehhhh, you know this is true......:cool: We don't need no stinkin link.

Tough problem. I'd read some history on the immigration of Chinese people to the US. Many wouldn't assimiliate for fear of being ostracized by their former countrymen (China). they became a people who had no country. They didn't feel they belonged to the US although they were citizens, and...

If there are three glory holes in the club and 28 guys in the circuit, how many rotations will there be before everyone gets a turn? 9 with a remainder of Bob, because Bob cant fit in the glory hole and thats why we all like Bob.

So this guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says "That's nice, why did you get it"? The parrot said, "I got it to feel less embarassed about the size of my dick".

Protractor. Not recommended for the amateur farmer.

I had to stop reading after this: "New York Times reporter Janny Scott has revealed this story appears to be a fabrication." fabricator vs fabricator I can't wait till Hitler finds out Obama lied about his mother. (Coming to you tube video near you).

It was a dark and stormy night. Two lawyers at the Florida Attorney General's Office left their government posts this year to take jobs at firms still under investigation by the agency. :D Ahahahahahaha :D :D :D...

Jackson Lee, a member of the Congressional Black Caucus. Rep. Sheila Jackson Lee (D-Texas) on Friday strongly suggested that members of Congress are making it difficult for President Obama to raise the debt ceiling because of his race. --------------------- Look lady, the only reason a...

the first state in the nation to add lessons about gays and lesbians to social studies classes in public schools. ------------------------------------------- Now exactly who is going to do the teaching. A hetero? What they heck do they know. We are going to fill these positions wil the...

I'll mention one situation from back in the day when I was in the hardware business. We used to sell hardware cloth. This is a steel mesh, 1/4 x 1/4 or 1/8 x 1/8 and 1/2 x 1/2 mesh. This came in various widths by 100 ft rolls. One day we get a buyers bulletin for a special buy on 1/2 x 1/2 x...

Not sure I get the moral of the story on this one. Theory number one: This could be as simple as subway etiquette, don't block the exit (stand on front of the door) and he got shoved, oh well. Theory number two: "Palestine" complex. Whenever I read the word Palestine in an article...

I helped the EMTs at a car wreck and got blood all over my arms and shirt. It looked like I murdered 20 people with a fork... anyway, I walked into a convieniance store down the street and said my girlfriend needs a tampon. The guy at the counter was mortified.

I know I would like to sit in a classroom of an all black school learning about the contributions of the gay blackman, the lesbian black women and the bisexual african-american community. Hmnnn. the down-low 101.

I'm pretty sure there was a serial killer who kidnapped women, let them loose in the woods and hunted them. Can't remember the state. ps. I had to check my recall for the heck of it. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Robert_Hansen

lmao :D He got a tweet from Michelle: "Dinner is ready. Time to eat your peas. Honey, the peas are fresh from our White House garden."

"I've reached my limit." ------------------------------ There is much truth to the saying behind every successful man is a great woman, Michelle ain't it. How can she let him act like some bitch on her period.

Au contraire, I'd like to see sharpton do a "thug apprentice" tv show. You know, Sharpton sits in the board room passes out "get whitey" tasks.

I'd like to see Sharpton do an apprentice.

My friend asked me. "Have you every played squash" I replied, "Yes, every time I get in the bed with the wife".