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I second this. My work took me to thousands of homes, middle class people were the best. I remember this one yuppie guy (annoying people) I gave hime a quote for a job -he told me to "sharpen" my pencil (meaning he wanted a lower price). I said "no problem" you want a lower price I can cut...

In work today someone said to me, "What's your porn star name?" I said,"What do you mean?" "You must know, everyone does. It's where you take the name of your first pet and your mother's maiden name to make a porn star name." I went home and said to the wife, "What's your porn star...

As the wife shut the front door behind her, I went into our bedroom and slipped on a pair of her underwear. I wish she would see a doctor about her heavy discharge, I thought as I picked them up off the floor and put them in the laundry basket.

I get po'd when I go to dunkin donuts order 2 or 4 donuts they throw them in the bag Un-huh un-huh un-huh Just throw it in the bag Un-huh un-huh un-huh Just throw it in the bag don't even put them in there neatly ,never close the bag, just shove it over to ya. wtf, you want me...

School's morning role call at Hezbollah High... (I say this in gist, my alma mater, many moons ago) "Mustafa El Ekh Zeri?" "Here." "Achmed El Kabul?" "Here." "Fatima Al Chadoury? " " Here." "Abdul Alu Ohlmi?" " Here." Mohammed Ibn Achrha?" " Here." "Mi Cha El Mey Er" Silence in the...

"plant your corn early". Most of my tips are unappreciated.

Let's do a quick wrap up on Gore. Let's get the hard one out of the way. Gore invented the internet. Round one. I understand his comment was taking out of context, etc and became a joke but he put it out there. His comment is a clear case of throwing shit on a wall and see what sticks...

When I was just a little boy, I asked my mother, 'What will I be? 'Will I be handsome? 'Will I be rich?' Here's what she said to me: 'Que...no habla ingles'

"Baboon on the loose in new jersey." Why is the age of his clothing relevant to the story?

When we went to bed last night my wife said to me: "This may hurt, and I'm sorry, but after 20 years together I think we need a change." I couldn't believe it. "So you're saying that from now on it'll be me snoring and farting all night while you're hanging off the bed with a fucking hard on?"

Tell the lawyer you'll make a great juror, as you can spot guilty people just by looking at them.

Is the problem that costs are out of control (too much spending) or that the company's prices are too low (not enough taxes). ------------------------ We're in a bit of a bind here. Cuts in spending have several problems. Effective ways to cut spending are illegal, spending formulas are...

"According to the two law enforcement officials, the woman had a phone conversation with an incarcerated man within a day of her encounter with Mr. Strauss Kahn in which she discussed the possible benefits of pursuing the charges against him. The conversation was recorded." Reminds me of the...

Where Is Tim Geithner Headed Next? Goldman Sachs JP Morgan Tax Consultancy McDonalds Ive League Professor Any non-profit that will have him Solitary Confinement

Ya got me what happened but I cannot open the site with IE, I down loaded firefox and bada bingbada boom there it is. Strange. never had that happen before.

Mark - Dont call him a dick, life aint easy being a dick. You've got a head you cant think with, an eye you cant see with, balls you cant play with, your neighbours an asshole, and your best friend is a total pussy.

On the flip side, I was surprised to hear of a failing school with very few kids classified as "special needs". You know why? Because all the kids would meet the requirements as learning disabled and secondly, the school couldn't provided the resources for "all" of them. Parochial, private...

The growth of mafia in the US really took off in the 60's with high taxes, Viet Nam, etc, bs. The underground economy will flourish. Same thing will happen again.

Either, "I've sat in a cottage pie" or that was not a fart.

How many prostitutes does it take to screw in a light bulb? I have no idea Either. I did hire four prostitutes once, but we did other stuff.