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:D :D :D I'm warning ya..this one is very funny... I took my blonde girlfriend to the library today and she asked the old women behind the counter "I've never been here before. What books do you suggest?". The old frail women looked at my wife with a smile and said "Do you have any...

As the dog sat watching the orchestra, he stared at the conductor and thought.. "Just throw the fucking thing."

:D :D :D I'm warning ya...this one is funny. What does a Chinese man with one leg and a car have in common? Both rely on a clutch to go anywhere.

Old people with the least prospect of future time would rightfully be impatient whereas youth should be patient = all the time in the world. But it just doesn't work that way. So hurry up, blow your horn, get people out of your way, take control, get things done faster you have plenty of time...

A Harley biker is riding by the zoo in Washington , DC when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to slaughter her, under the eyes of her screaming parents. The biker jumps off his Harley...

Apparently Ed Balls thinks that his unusual name will hinder his leadership ambitions so he is changing his name to Barry Balls.

GS is betting on Romney.

Good job Peter Morgan..:) ------------------------- The money they have in shares? Share ownership is another investment favoured by the rich. They receive dividends and potential increases in share value as incentive to buy shares. Although a huge amount of money is invested in...

Whoa! Pretty comprehensive. :cool:

I said to my girlfriend '' Why don't you ever tell me when you orgasm?'' She Replied ''I Don't like to bother you at work!''

"We expect several pilots that will involve both local investors and institutional investors. The goal here is to reduce supply by converting foreclosed homes into rental units," says Jaret Seiberg of Guggenheim Securities. -------------- Rental units. Forget it. Imo, rental has two...

That's what he said: "After sorting through thousands of pages of Wall Street’s 2012 outlooks, we discerned the most important point for equity investors: the consensus top-down forecast for the S&P 500 is 1,335, or a 6.2% gain (the bottom-up forecast is for a gain of 15.4% to 1,451)."

A teacher asks a Blond girl to use "Handsome" in a sentence. She says, "When I'm suckin dick, and my jaw gets sore I use my handsome times."

Here’s what the record shows: The S&P 500-stock index price performance in the three months leading to a presidential election has been a good predictor of whether a sitting President would be reelected or replaced. Specifically, when the S&P 500 index rises from July 31 through October...

A man walks into a casino, and sits down at the poker table. As the bets are beginning to be taken, the man suddenly notices two cows, smoking weed in the corner. He abruptly stands up and starts to leave, another player says "Hey man, where are you going, we've just started!" The...

I had no idea of the existence of ghost-twitterers, although apparently the profession has been practising for some time. A ghost-twitterer is employed to send tweets while pretending to be someone else, How come Obama didn't mention this when he said the internet has displaced travel agents...

Sometimes when I get the feeling that I'm about to be screwed I pay with American Express. Amex doesn't f around. Even when I bought a non refundable airline ticket (which I didn't use) I called americna express and complained. This delayed the payment for a couple months. Just to piss them off.

I just watched the directors cut of a porn film, it turns out in the end the "plumber" does fix the washing machine.

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