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What's even nicer is that he was able to make change. :cool: I was in CVS last week and spent 1.02 and gave the late-teens or something clerk 2.00 and she actually couldn't figure out the 98c on her own. Evidently the cash register was malfunctioning or something. No joke.

The scene is set, a dark night, cold wind blowing, campfire flickering, stars twinkling in the dark sky. Three hang-glider pilots sitting by the campfire, one from Australia, one from South Ifrika and one from New Zulland, each embroiled in the bravado for which they are famous. The night...

The Journey of Man When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16 I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything...

Great list. That last one I've also seen as: "The weather's here, wish you were beautiful." :D

If business meetings were like internet forums . . . http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hcpyzw2C_Qs

A man and his wife were getting a divorce at a local court, but the custody of their children posed a problem. The mother jumped to her feet and protested to the judge that since she had brought the children into this world, she should retain custody of them. The man also wanted custody...

A minister died and found himself in line at the Pearly Gates behind a man wearing sunglasses, a loud shirt, leather jacket, and jeans. St. Peter asked the man, "State your name so I may determine whether to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven." The man replied, "I'm Joe, the taxi driver...

I'm guessing there's a missing punchline here? Just a guess: "Beethoven's decomposing!"

* Redneck "Book of Manners" 1. Never take a beer to a job interview. 2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them. 3. Its considered poor taste to take a cooler to church. 4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets. 5. Even if you're...

An elderly man sitting in church bent over to the lady beside him and whispered, "I have just let out a silent fart, what should I do?" She politely whispered back, "You should perhaps change your hearing aid battery!"

I once heard Cramer piss all over TA by snorting "Technical Anaylsis mumbo jumbo". From that day on I knew TA was a viable way to trade and for 6 years have made a living out of it. :D

The only weapon of mass distruction is in Bush's pants. And I'm a staunch conservative independent and still found the previous joke funny. :D

Shouldn't that be OoogleGay?

The entire Lohan-Spears-Hilton triumvirate.

http://www.pbfcomics.com/archive/0PBF42028BC-Kitty_Heaven.jpg

A guy in a bar stood up and shouted, "Lawyers are assholes!" A guy at the other end of the bar shouted back "I resent that." The first guy asked "Are you a lawyer?" The second guy responded "No, I'm an asshole."

It's exploratory surgery; they're just peeking to see if the organ even exists.

Nice use of the spacebar to move the nipples to each side. Well done.

As a young boy, Joe was completely obsessed with tractors. He had pictures of tractors all over his bedroom walls; he had tractor toys, tractor T-shirts, a tractor carpet, and duvet cover, the whole works. He ate, drank and slept tractors. On his 17th birthday he was thrilled to get an...

Another Wal-Mart joke..... You are in the middle of some kind of project around the house. Mowing the lawn, putting a new fence in, painting the living room, or whatever. You are hot and sweaty. Covered in dirt or paint. You have your old work clothes on. You know the outfit, shorts...