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Lets hope that guy who hates people laughing, called miserable schitt doesn't read the above LOL

Did anyone ever check XP or Vista for hidden bugs ? It would be very easy for Microsoft to hide goodness-knows-what in the millions of lines of code, to be activated upon command. I am not saying that this is the case, but it would be a huge temptation for CIA types to be able to read computers...

AN EASTER BUNNY JOKE Father bunny notices one day that his son is growing up fast. He says son, its time for your education to begin on the facts of life. So he takes his son out into the meadow. There are lots of lady bunnies around. Father bunny lines up all the female rabbits in a row. He...

TWO COWS As a genetic engineer I confidently predict a different flavour milk from each tit. I am trying to get the wife interested but she seems annoyed

Funny YOU HAVE TWO COWS IN BRAZIL You put tootoos on them and teach them the samba for the Carnival

telephone scam artist, trying to con people imho. Soon as he heard you knew something about trading decided to look elsewhere!!!!!!!!!

Perhaps the management would consider splitting the ( best ) jokes thread into 2 The clean part for the under 10s and sensitive lot And the other for the really disgusting and depraved lot. Lots of good jokes keep them coming. :p

There was an automated trading contest last autumn (fall) . Did anyone notice who or what won ? The contest was in Kazan - somewhere South of Moscow !

Bill must be feeling really happy that at least 1 customer had a success rate of 1 program working. Out of how many programs one may ask . 99 perhaps or are you a bit of a small end user ? Easily satisfied perhaps, with a woefully short service ?

Back in the 60s there was this young trader who used pencil and paper and did” buy and hold” trading, say 1 or 2 trades a year and took his profits. The problem was what to do the rest of the time. Lunches got longer and longer, so in the 70s he decided to trade maybe once or twice a month...

The EU has millions of old Communists and so-called reformed Communists. Blair is one of them. His friends like Jack Straw, John Reid etc. don't even deny having been Trots. Their stategy is to invite Russia to join the EU. Imagine a country stretching from Lisbon to Vladivostok !!!!!!!!! Do...

Harry Truman should have grasped the nettle back in 1946. He could have said - right we have the atomic bomb so listen up out there and anyone even trying to make the bomb gets one right on the kisser. Now every tin pot nation either has or will have an atomic bomb. Its only a matter of time...

One springs to mind from that old crook Al Capone "The stock market is the biggest racket around" from Bill Clinton " I have NEVER had sexual relations with THAT woman" just the rest maybe ??

:D :D

Lots of crazy things happen in traveling. Just last week I was on a train. There was a woman traveling with a baby. UGLY baby! I mean, I'm not one to make comments about anyone's kid -- but this was an UGLY baby. A guy walks down the train -- he's half smashed -- and he stops. And he stares. And...

It seems to me that Britney is her own worst problem. Instead of introverted psychological examinations of her own psyche, she ought to get a new sense of purpose by doing something useful for others. Whatever interest she had before fame then she should use her money, fame and time to excel at...

What a paradox life really is:- She is the young woman that seems to have everything and acts as if she has nothing. Because she has had everything that money can buy and has had the best that the world can offer and come up short, she has lost the 3 things that really matter. What is that...

I just dont trust " you know who ". Selling a crap product and then trying to gouge more money by selling up-grades after 1 week ???????? Personally I have turned off the Windows XP upgrades. I just dont trust the guy not to put some stuff into my XP so that one HAS to buy Vista. I just try to...

Spot on You win the coconut A week after the launch and they have the CHEEK to try and sell us an upgrade Doubtlessly there will be a whole string of up-grades none of which quite plug all the holes. !!!!!!!!! Gouging the customer is what I call it. Take a long holiday Bill - Join a...

I just had a thought. Maybe the reason for this obvious cock-up is that Microsoft are about to launch a range of printers ??? Having cleared the opposition like HP off then in they jump like superman to the rescue ?? Is it a bird --- is it a plane ---- NO its microsoft man with a new printer