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A mosquito landed on my balls... Hardest decision of my life.

Boyaah and get this....how cool is that... Next time you’re stuck in traffic between 23rd Street and 34th Street on the FDR Drive, take a moment to consider where the land beneath you came from. It wasn’t fill from digging the subways or skyscrapers—it was actually transported here...

Yea and that's where "23 skidoo" came from. The wind around the flat iron building caused womans dress to blow up in the air. The cops chased the voyeurs away with "skidoo" and the flat iron on 23rd street.

Yea and get this, they got a MCD on the 6th floor, lmao

Nice pix. Thanks. The part I like about NYC is there is room for everybody and not only that, a time period for everything. Stoney mentioned some dive counter cafe, this place look untouched from the 30's and I don't mean this in a good way, the place was beat. It was someplace to eat "once"...

On the way to work...... My boss..... "I must look really sexy in my new convertible BMW." "Loads of other motorists have signalled that they plan on having a wank later."

We were jealous and were always asking him if he got to feel them. finally one time he came through and said "yeah, he copped a feel" Then we asked then what happened? and he said she started crying. We were very confused and so was our friend , we didn't have any advice except to let one of us...

I was gone for a few days. I come back and my wife said the floor squeeks. "The floor squeeks in two spots and proceeded to show me where and have me listen." I listen, nothing happens, she tries and tries, it doesn't squeek. In the last couple days, she walks around the kitchen and the...

My boss pulled up in his brand new BMW today and I couldn't help but admire it. "Nice car," I said as he got out. "Well," he said, noticing my admiring looks, "Work hard, put the hours in, and I'll have an even better one next year."

Did you know that it is impossible to hang a man with a wooden leg? You have to use rope instead.

So in our group of friends in HS, we got our token fat kid, who does he date? The one girl with the biggest jugs in school.

As an alternative to the guiness book of world records, I always thought it would be good to have a book titled "Get the Fuck outta Here." Fer instancae, Trump just rented an apartment in manhattan for 100 k a month.....(see what I mean?) You'd say "Get the fuck outta here"

Just more of the same BS from the ponzi scheme they call wallstreet Hide your money from them I am putting all of my money in bacon. Everyone loves bacon! It is cured, so it lasts a long time and when I have cornered the bacon market, everyone will PAY!!!!!!

We ask where's the outrage on everyday crime in the black community and the politicians respond with “He basically said black elected officials don’t care about the safety of their community.’’

NYPD Commissioner Ray Kelly yesterday ripped into leaders of the predominantly minority communities where shootings are soaring, accusing them of being “shockingly silent” to the rising body count. His comments — which outraged local leaders — came as the parents of a 3-year-old...

Chicago sure isn’t the Second City when it comes to street shootings; Dodge City is more like it. Certainly the outburst of handgun homicides that has plagued Chicago in recent weeks puts New York’s recent surge in perspective. Thus far, Chicago has seen 275 murders in 2012 — up 38...

I've just written a book on reverse psychology. But It's shit and you shouldn't buy it. Stay tuned.......:D

I thought years ago there was a law where you weren't allowed to encourage retards to do dumb stuff. "Yo, Billybob, go on over there and stick your head in that stump full of rainwater".

Ha! I won't forget this one. I'm at church (Ash Wed) at night and standing there and all of a sudden it feels like someone is cracking my ribs on my left side. Hurts like a mofo, then stops then starts again, feels like someone is standing on the left side of my chest compressing the heck out of...

Todays jokes brought to you by the letter G {:>) I think my fat wife's trying to inject a little bit of spice back into our sex life. She's packed the kids off to her sister's, unplugged the tv and taken the phone off the hook. She's had a candle-lit bath and given herself a...