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A rabbi, a priest, and a minister walk into a bar. Unfortunately, the bar was closed due to the poor economy. Luckily there was an Applebee's across the street and they were able to save money with half-priced appetizers.

A duck walks into a over 7-11 and says "Give me some Chapstick, put it on my bill!" But the cash register attendee doesn't speak English and cannot understand him. He does, however, question whether his God is punishing him because as all people know, Ducks cannot speak, however, this...

It looks like actual cash losses were about $20B. (early 60's) Fantasy return of 65b. Jeepers, Madoff didn't even beat the rate of inflation.

MATHEMATICS -- 2011 Q1) Tynequa flips 4 coins and records the results. Calculate the probability we have used this name because we're politically correct.

Rolling Stone = South America's bible...:cool:

Here's the deal. The school needs a 80% pass rate for grade levels. Unfortunately the principle cannot locates 23% of his students. Low attendance, etc... So if the teachers pass everyone who is attending class (77%, no matter how poorly they perform) this goal cannot be reached...

Jackie Chan says: He who makes a life size replica out of silk ties has complete fabric Asian.

Confucius say: Pick some other chink to use in your shit jokes.

Confucius say, "Well hung gay man always in deep shit." Confucius say, you can lead a horticulture, but you can't make her think. --------------------------------

If you ask unwed teenage mothers (without a job or a low paying job, doesn't matter) how much it cost to have a baby in a hospital, they don't know and don't care. They'll never get a bill. Pretty neat system. ---------------- I was reading the other day, you know how much NYS spends...

Why A Hedge Fund Comprised Of Junior Congressional Democrats Should Outperform The Market By 9% (Sigh) I should've been a congenial janitor on the floor of the Senate. "In other words, everyone is trading on inside information, but nobody more so than those who write the laws that...

Hillary Clinton used that line in many of her campaign speeches. Good riddance to her!

I'd like to ask Harry Markopolous a question. Is any justice being served by having him in jail or is there someone else he would like to see in jail instead of madoff. I'd bet Markopolous has a list of people who were basically accessories to Madoff scheme. Fwiw, Only half of the...

The bloomberg article didn't pass the smell test, sometimes one gets confuesed but looks like we have a bit more insight on link. "Secret Fed loans" that were not so secret. http://www.zerohedge.com/article/secret-fed-loans-were-not-so-secret

We’re having this conversation because you didn’t find his race attractive. That’s what racism is. -------------------------------------- Maybe she is suffering from an inferiority complex. You know, deep down, she isn't worthy, unable to compete with a black woman, hence she says...

xhamster.com

1% of the general population are psychopaths. 25% of the prison population are psychopaths. 4% of CEO's are psychopaths. http://www.nytimes.com/2011/05/17/books/the-psychopath-test-by-jon-ronson-review.html

So I was looking for work and knocked on a farmers door and I asked the farmer if he has any odd jobs, the farmer says "yes milk the horse" .

Here's a little tip if you find yourself in hospital for a few days. Masturbating while hooked up to a heart rate monitor scares the nurses a lot.

Sadly though, your wife and kids will think you are an idiot if you don't raise your prices, even though your customers bitch about the higher price, they'll think you are an idiot also if you don't. That. imo , is the reality.