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I had to prepay for my gas this morning. I asked for five dollars worth of gas. The clerk farted and gave me a reciept

Funny you should mention that. I think I've found the fountain of youth.....:cool:

Why would a woman want to go to an all mens club? People want to go where they are not wanted, then you have racism and sexism. On the flip side we have all these little off shoot support groups and clubs for every gd neurosis in the world. Men only "hang nails on the index finger...

My wife is on the 'bankrupt and fucked' diet. She'll only eat things that are Greecey.

I've decided not to focus on my past anymore. So, if I owe you money, oh well.

I'm the kind of guy who always says what's on his mind. Although my doctor calls it 'Tourette's Syndrome'

Where's the warmest part of a room? The corner, because its 90 degrees.

Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke and other Fed officials have said that with home prices continuing to fall and rents rising, it makes sense for some foreclosed homes to be converted into rentals. Demand for rentals has grown since the housing meltdown. ------------------ I wonder how this works...

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Ya know, when ever I read about computer generated models of global warming I think of the rating agencies. Computer generated models of credit worthiness.Computer generated models of "It's a good thing and I state my case". At least I stopped comparing global warming to LTCM and the...

What is a hiccup. Suppose we trade hiccups.We're going to back test charts on hiccups.I think hiccups are more suited for options. We brings me to nuts and Miss Canada (she is a friggin hiccup in tehe beaty pagent) Which brings me to people who get the hiccups from nut allergies. Which...

Obama said. "He could not get through a Republican primary today." ---------------- What is Obama's point?

Sounds like a good name for a rock band "Hey, lets give up for the Chiggers"

the rest of the story: Their conference also came despite President Obama’s ridiculing of financial institutions for wasting federal bailout money. “You can’t go take a trip to Las Vegas or go down to the Super Bowl on the taxpayers’ dime,” he said in February 2009. Oh...

My wife gave me a Blowjob in the car the other day and we ended up crashing.. In hindsight-I probably should have been driving.

I have been with my wife 18 years, she said, "I want to spice up our lives and have a game of strip poker, I feel you don't find me atrractive anymore." We started to play and after 12 hands she said, "Why do you keep folding?"

Uhmnnn.. It's "Shorthand". :cool:

ET has a "pink" ceiling.

comments like these are why I like black people. Black people can say any dopey shit and get away with it. If you're black PC is out the window.

Yeah sure, when my wife see's a 1/2 inch spider she says "It's huge!" but when she see my 2 inch whacker she says "Oh that's tiny".