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Stay the $@%# out of this, rs7! Don's mine. Eva

Hey Tanya, this is Eva - that prick Subman also kicked me out. Listen, let's forget about these small fry and head for Vegas and find ourselves some serious traders, like Don and Bob Bright.

I suggest that you leisurely go through the online help which has many good examples. Other than that, don't make a project out of it - you can always post the thorny problems on the ET Software Forum.

=SUMIF(A:A,"<=1.25") - SUMIF(A:A,"<0.75") A little cumbersome, but it works. =COUNTIF(A:A,"<=1.25") - COUNTIF(A:A,"<0.75") For the sake of correctness, to avoid dividing by zero (a possibility at the extremes), you could add an IF function in the denominator.

hi magda! i am eva, mr subliminal's girlfriend. he'll kill me if he finds out i'm posting. he's also in the bathroom now, throwing up my attempt at lunch. he beats me when a position goes against him, so i usually leave home after 9:30. just got home now and saw your post. hold on, i see he...

http://elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?s=&postid=84960 Vinny, L.S. was really impressed with your attitude, and would like to meet you. If you're interested, PM me. What a small world! The second photo you posted (below) is none other than P.W., another Goldman trader, known for her...

A suspicious young gambler named Reds, Sees a succession of twenty-five heads, Now the inclination would be tails, But common sense prevails, And he promptly reports to the Feds.

This rare photo of L.S., a Goldman trader, was taken last triple witching Friday.

I am pleased with my performance today and feel that overall it was beneficial having someone looking over my shoulder, as it were. Apart from the issue of cutting down a gif file into "attachable" proportions which still remains unresolved (see previous post), I am also looking into ways of...

In keeping with the lighthearted nature of this thread, starting tomorrow I shall be posting my trades at the end of the day. From my perspective, I would like to see the effect of such an obligation on my actual trading. From your perspective, it will serve as pure entertainment. I have no...

The Momoyama restaurant in the Isezaki-cho area of Yokohama caters to the European palate, and was therefore the best compromise we could come up with. I had no choice but to extend my stay in Japan owing to unrelenting pressure from FIFA (Fédération Internationale de Football Association) who...

I saw John Entwistle playing in The John Entwistle Band at BB King's last year (October) when he was in town for the "Concert for New York City". Also really enjoyed his playing in "A Walk Down Abbey Road" (Todd Rundgren, Alan Parsons, Ann Wilson, David Pack...), a tribute to The Beatles...

FWIW ROFL YMMV

If all else fails, you could trade standing like I do.

That's Friday's close. They're still sleeping in Turkey, mostly hungover from their win over Senegal. I'm still in Japan, FWIW, and am personally involved in efforts to prop up the Nikkei :D

Hi Tony and DaqTrader. Suffering succotash, I'm sipping saki in the Osaka Hilton, a sensuous geisha by my side. How, you ask? Friday morning 9:27am (USA ET) After another sleep-deprived night resulting in the elimination of a proud USA team, I was slumped in front of my monitor drinking a...

Made a few shekels today and am forcibly shutting down the old Presario before 3:00pm. I will leave the whipsawing and triple-bewitched future spikes to other more hapless souls. Off to sleep.

Trading conditions of late have been quite difficult or is it just me? I've always admired Art Cashin. Today was the second time in as many days he mentioned the mini-hedge funds (or "boutique" hedge funds) as if they were the cause of all evil and volatility. Surely this is not a new...

Thanks, XGGTrader, DaqTrader and DblArrow. Cloudy weather gives me the perfect excuse to stay indoors this Saturday afternoon, not that I need any. The week was a volatile one both for the market and my equity curve, the latter exhibiting the behavior of a stationary point - hopefully it will be...

There was a young trader from Bright, Who blew up his account overnight, He shorted the yen, And then buggered a hen, Much to Donald and Robert's delight. A shy trader who barely speaks, Decided to study the Greeks, He put on a spread, While still lying in bed, And then proceeded...