Recent content by AZheat70

...when you're 11

When you go to a restaurant on the weekends and it's busy they start a waiting list. They start calling out names, they say "Dufresne, party of two. Dufresne, party of two." And if no one answers they'll say their name again. "Dufresne, party of two, Dufresne, party of two." But then if no one...

A man walks into a police station and asks to speak to the burglar who broke into his house the night before. "I’m sorry sir, but you'll get your chance in court,” says the duty officer. “No, you don’t understand,” says the man. “I want to know how he got in the house without...

It's a quiet afternoon at the Vatican and the Pope decides to do a crossword. After a while, he looks puzzled. "Can you think of a four letter word for a woman ending in 'u-n-t'?" he asks ones of his cardinals. "Hmm, that would be 'aunt'," the cardinal replies. "Oh, of course," says...

DUFF = Designated Ugly Fat Friend

Three contractors were bidding to fix a broken fence at the White House. The first contractor said: “I figure the job will run about $900 - that's $400 for materials, $400 for my crew and $100 profit for me.” The second contractor announced: “I can do this job for $700 – that's $300...

Beef curtain, axe wound, vertical smile...

www.thechive.com

I used the website below. I hate(d) reading the course material so it was great to watch a series of videos and take the practice exams online. Much better than flipping back and fourth. https://www.testeachersonline.com/series-7

Just worry about staying in school. You can paper trade while you study for your S7. Then throw all your graduation money into an prop account and have at it. I also suggest dumping your girlfriend and moving back to your parents to cut costs. :D

God is worn out, so he tells St. Peter: "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions about where I might go?" St. Peter thinks, and then says: "How about Jupiter? It's nice this time of year." God says: "No, too much gravity on Jupiter. It hurts my back." St. Peter says: "OK...

... It doesn't matter what they're selling, I'll take 2.

2009’s First Christmas Joke Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates. In honor of this holy season' Saint Peter said, you must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.' The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled...

Anybody catch "V" last night?

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